posted: 5/3/07 filed under: Fun Stuff

annoying office workerMany of us are stuck in a cube for most of the day. Why not have some fun with your co-workers. They annoy you day in and day out. Here are 101 ways for you to slowly drive them crazy.

  1. Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
  2. Staple your reports in the wrong corner
  3. Put tape over the mouse optics
  4. Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
  5. Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
  6. Turn your earphones up all the way
  7. Burn popcorn in the microwave
  8. “Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
  9. Turn up the beep volume of the copier
  10. Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
  11. Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
  12. Practice beat boxing
  13. Sing show tunes
  14. Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
  15. Slurp hot coffee during meetings
  16. Walk around the office barefooted
  17. Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
  18. Misplace peoples pens
  19. Insert a 3.5″ disk before they turn on their computer
  20. Glue their mouse to the desk
  21. Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
  22. Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
  23. Turn up the contrast on their monitor
  24. Talk in a funny accent
  25. Use goofy event sounds for your programs
  26. Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
  27. Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
  28. Send flowers from one co-worker to another
  29. Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
  30. Insist on people to have a great morning
  31. Leave hole punches all over
  32. Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
  33. After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
  34. Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
  35. Set a password on someone’s screensaver
  36. Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
  37. Smirk when a co-worker walks by
  38. Eat half of someone’s lunch
  39. Swap co-worker’s chairs
  40. Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
  41. Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
  42. Take all the ice out of the community freezer
  43. Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
  44. Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
  45. Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
  46. Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
  47. Take out the ball in the mouse
  48. Eat sunflower seeds
  49. Tell a long story without a point
  50. Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
  51. Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
  52. Bring Cheetos for food days
  53. Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
  54. Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
  55. Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
  56. Practice drumming on your desk
  57. Use too many paper clips
  58. Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
  59. Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
  60. Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
  61. Express your political views at length
  62. Whisper loudly
  63. Come to work sick
  64. Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
  65. Answer your mobile during meetings
  66. Stand over someone while they are on the phone
  67. Sneak up behind someone
  68. Mess with the thermostat
  69. Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
  70. Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
  71. Leave unusual print outs on the printer
  72. Throw out other people’s prints
  73. Juggle office supplies
  74. Write all your memos on bright colored paper
  75. Be overly nice to people
  76. Hide whiteboard erasers
  77. Chew gum while talking on the phone
  78. Regularly update everyone on the current weather
  79. Read your emails aloud
  80. Leave the fridge open
  81. Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
  82. Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
  83. Whistle all day long
  84. Wear too much cologne/perfume
  85. Type loudly
  86. Wear bright colored clothes
  87. Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
  88. Do the sneaky walk around the office
  89. Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
  90. Use the intercom and page yourself
  91. Swap the regular and decaf coffee
  92. Hide the sugar and creamer
  93. Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
  94. Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
  95. Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
  96. Throw a bouncy ball in your office
  97. Tell the same story over and over
  98. Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
  99. Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
  100. Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
  101. Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you

DISCLAIMER: Use these annoyances at your own risk. I take no responsibility for whatever happens to you, your cube, your car or anything else.


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72 Responses to “101 Ways to Annoy Your Co-workers”

  1. Carolyn Shelby Says:

    Hrm. Is it bad that I’m regularly guilty of numbers 3, 6, 13, 16, 20, 22, 36, 39, 74, 75, 85 and 99?

  2. g-money Says:

    number 22 doesn’t work… the second they move the mouse your work woudl be of no use.

  3. Ryan Pratt Says:

    Great List! I too am guilty of many of these… woops!

    If anyone has any other ideas for how to annoy your co-workers you can add them here:
    http://www.listafterlist.com/tabid/57/listid/6822/Jobs++Careers/Over+100+Ways+to+Annoy+Your+CoWorkers.aspx

    Jason, if you are interested in doing any cross-promotional work (we are already pointing your blog which will hopefull help drive even more traffic) let me know!

  4. bmerkl Says:

    Tell them you made a post about them on http://chainofthoughts.com without telling them where, it will drive them mad looking all over for it, and waste a major portion of their day.

  5. kris Says:

    Yes! While I’m 88ing I’ll 67 your ass, 50 and 4 you, and then 37 when it’s all over.

  6. malloreigh Says:

    Hilarious… I loved it.

  7. Matt Nolan Says:

    This list HAS to be wrong. I do at least half this stuff every week and I am not annoying.

  8. Esrun Says:

    Another one I love is to stick a bit of blue tack or tape over the microphone on someones phone so when they answer it they can hear the person calling but the other person can’t hear them ;)

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  10. Angela Says:

    Here’s one: Crunch on ice or eat carrot sticks.
    Here’s another one: Tap your fingers on the desk while you’re thinking…especially if you have long finger nails!

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  12. anon Says:

    #102 - pee in the coffee machine.

  13. Maryam Says:

    That was hilarious!!

  14. Hoss Says:

    #103 - take a crap in your boss’s file drawer.
    #104 - take big sniffs & hawk up loogies during a meeting

  15. Vik Says:

    LOL! This is great! Muwahahahaha! The only thing missing is a certain item from ThinkGeek: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8c52/?cpg=wnrdf

  16. pimby Says:

    Guilty on all counts….and loving it!!!

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  20. Sam Says:

    Tape the button down on the phone so when they answer it it keeps ringing.

  21. Jono Says:

    Shit, I will be fired!!!

  22. Tux Says:

    I work at home these days, but these tips always make me think a week back in a mind numbing office could be alright.

  23. Anonymous Says:

    101 ways to get fired anyone ?

  24. Stefan Says:

    #101a - Schedule meetings at 4:00am
    ;-)

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  31. Pookie Says:

    My favorite one was not listed, so here it is… switch the letters around on thier keyboard. Also for number 22 you could also make the screenshot the wallpaper, then if they move the mouse it still it on the screen :)

  32. redmyse Says:

    something i used to do at my old job was on wednesdays (being the 3rd day of the work week) we would take in third person all day. we would make sure to talk over the phone on loud speaker so that everyone could hear, and we would take about useless work stuff. we also would change eachother’s backgrounds to David Hasselhoff or Dolph Lundgren and then call them gay.

  33. OfficeGirl Says:

    No. 22 DOES work. After you ss the desktop you also have to hide the start bar and lock the desktop icons.
    *evil grin*

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  36. doc0tis Says:

    @Pookie,

    Or switch their keyboard to Dvorak, French or Spanish settings (if english)

    –doc0tis

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  39. Cattrigger Says:

    The bastard who sits behind me is guilty of all of these. Yes, even singing show tunes.

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  45. Patricio Says:

    I’ve seen people who do so many of these, without probably knowing this list exists, or without any intention behind it. Or so I thought! Maybe they weren’t bad employees after all, they were just going through these 101 ways! I can deal with that.

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  49. FooBar Says:

    #100 Schedule meetings at 4:00pm

    What’s wrong with doing this? and why they should be annoyed? :P

  50. smellygirl Says:

    for number 22 you need to make a screenshot of their desktop, set it as their wallpaper, and then remove all of their icons from their desktop. otherwise, what’s really the point?

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  55. J.Y. Says:

    Tell them how you really feel and create a peer review via http://www.coworkers.com (anonymous if desired)

  56. Roland Jeffries Says:

    102. Just be me.

    I’m such a loser.

    http://loserville.typepad.com/loserville/

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  60. juan Says:

    swap the x and y keys on their monitor.

    alternately. take a screen capture, open photoshop, hide all the menus.

    hilarity ensues.

  61. Mohammad Reza Ranjkar Says:

    Guilty on all counts….and loving it!!!

  62. Mohammad Reza Ranjkar Says:

    Great
    I’ve seen people who do so many of these, without probably knowing this list exists, or without any intention behind it. Or so I thought! Maybe they weren’t bad employees after all, they were just going through these 101 ways! I can deal with that…

  63. dogbreath Says:

    keep pranking the person next to you ;]

  64. Martyn Says:

    Put tippex around the tippex bottle and throw it to a colleague, when he catches it he gets it al around his hands

    Empty the hole punch into envelopes or jacket pockets or umbrellas

    Put carbon on the earpiece of a phone, they walk round with a blue ear all day

    Put TWAT on a internal envelope and put it on somebodys in tray

    When a can of coke is open on a desk pierce a small hole approx half inch form the top, when they take a drink it goes down their shirt, they think they have simply missed their mouth and wipe their shirt and yep take another drink, so messy so easy and so funny….

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  66. dame Says:

    hah, great way to get fired

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  68. Josh Says:

    Not if you change the settings, you can make it to where you have to exit out of your screensaver

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  70. dmmcintyre3 Says:

    ssh into their Mac and make it say cuss words (just type say and what you want it to say when connected)
    vnc the computer and beat on the keyboard or move the mouse to the cancel button before they click ok
    turn the screen off (just push f 14 over and over(Mac with internal display only))
    install a command line media player and play music they hate over ssh
    ssh the computer and type killall (the app they are using) (Mac OS X/Unix/Linux only)
    ssh the computer and type sudo reboot (you just need to be an administrator to do this) (Mac OS X/unix/linux)
    turn the volume all the way up remotely and start music
    install the command line program g4fancontrol in /bin and type sudo g4fancontrol –set 20 and make theh wonder why thier fan is on full blast (iBook G4 and PowerBook G4 aluminum only)

  71. dmmcintyre3 Says:

    take a picture of their dock and hide the real one and put a picture of it where it goes (this should also work with the taskbar)

  72. DaMan Conners Says:

    LMAO I love this one. I tend to hum that song “Take On Me” from Aha… I do that everyday. People start to sigh and get annoyed. I had this one girl tell me, ” Dude you stuck in the 80′S can you PLEASE stop hummimg that song”. I said okay…..TAkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkke Onnnnnnnnnnnnn Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I didnt stop… They were pissed.

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